8 things I hate about Ukraine

Attention! Text below shows subjective and general reflections of the author! All situations mentioned it this text are unfortunately true.

Long time ago, when I was living in a land without snow, roof gutter or drain, where they "tie" palm trees for "winter" and where's no heating, gas or hot water at homes I wrote text titled "10 things I hate about Spain". Now I'm older, smarter and have bigger intercultural experience, but I want to use this idea one more time, this time describing Ukraine. I couldn't find 10 things that irritate me in Ukraine, so there will be only 8 points (another proof Ukraine is better than Spain).

1. Marshrutkas. Have I already mentioned it was my nightmare during my first weeks here? I'm not surprised a volunteer from Italy called them koshmarshtutkas (кошмар means nightmare). Using them is simply ужас. Especially when you realize in different cities there are different marshrutka systems. Who was that brilliant to create a system where you pay on leaving a bus? What to do when 29 volunteers get on marshrutka and all of them want to get off on 9th fountaine? How long does it take to collect money and give a change? Answer: too long. Even on normal conditions it's quite difficult to travel, because in game "передайте, пожалуйста!" you have to remember not only who gave you money and how much, but also where wants to get off (good luck in repeating bus stop names in Russian) and which door want to use. Odessa, think it over, please! 

2. People. The way Ukrainian girls look and behave scares me. Most of them wear things suitable for women earning money using their body (in Kiev it's not that bad), but their fake helplessness is kinda shocking. They are not able to get to the bus stop or home on their own. You have your last bus in 5 minutes? It doesn't matter, they won't get there alone and you have to escort them! Taking a bus alone is also  not acceptable. But the worst thing about it is that all those guys do what girls want them to do. Without any resistance. Unbelievable! I'll get back to this topic in separate post, because it requires deeper analysis.

I'm also not very happy with the behaviour of ladies and gentlemen while using public means of transport. I'm able to get used to answering all the time one question "вы выходите?" (are you getting off?) and when they here "нет" we change places. But when, for example, bus nr 73A is almost empty (in Ukrainian, not Polish understanding of expression "almost empty") and a man standing next to me before the stop called "стоматология"  asks me  "выходите?" (I'm not, my stop is the next one), we change places and he's not getting off on "Stomatologia", but on my ostanovka I'm totally puzzled. What for do they stay in door 2 stops before the right one? In a bus where you may freely go from one side of the other without even talking to anyone.

Third thing, and I hope the last one, is  different meaning of event options "attend", "may attend" and "don't attend" on marvellous social network vkontakte, among foreigners called Russian facebook. When I want to come and I know I have time I click "attend". When I want, but I'm not sure if I find some time to come I click "may attend". When I know I don't go, I click "don't attend". In Ukraine it's different. When you know you don't go, you click "may attend", when you maybe appear on the event, click "attend" and when you for sure don't come, because you study abroad, but you like organizers and you would like to be there - click "attend". Last example is quite nice, lately I did the same with an event on fb organized by my friends from studies. But getting back to the point: option "don't attend" is almost never used. Nobody wants to distress us, or what? As a result, people declaring "attend" usually don't come, so I don't check who clicked what, because it doesn't make sense. 

3. Dogs and cats. It's pretty scary to leave home. In our district pack of 12 dogs running around is something normal. They are big, untidy and homeless. Cats sit in your corner shop, under the fridge, for example. Or on cashier chair. Nobody sees a problem. But if you have some meat bought in a next-door shop you are not allowed to enter.

4. Food. That's how Ukrainian breakfast looks:

Lunch and dinner look similar. I’ve already reached 6-month limit for meat.

Do you know what is the difference between vegetarian and carnivorous lunch? Instead of pasta with souse or buckwheat with souse they got only pasta or only buckwheat. Exactly like in “Everything is illuminated”. Michał, please show us your meal:

5. Pharmacy. Pharmaceutical market is globalised. To know it you don’t have to work for a wonderful company starting with “N”. So we expected to find medicines of global companies here. But there’s no Sudafed at all and to get APAP you need to pronounce it in a certain way.

6. Time perception. Dear readers, if we decide to meet at 18:00, what time you should get to the place of meeting? Ok, it happens to me to be 10 minutes late, but rarely. And here? You may expect first guests at 18:30. And they will be comming till 19:30. Right in time for the last 15 minutes of the movie. Almost like in Spain.

7. Language. Excuse me, what is the name of the country I’m in right now? Ukraine, you say? So why the hell in the capital city of Ukraine I heard Ukrainian only two times? TWO! It’s easier to hear Italian, English or Polish... Announcements in the underground don’t count. I understand it happens in Donbass, but why it is so difficult to hear in Kiev the official language of this country? Вова says he uses Ukrainian at home and Russian at work, but it’s not true, he speaks strange combination of Russian, Ukrainian and Polish. But on the streets, in museums, in shops – no one uses Ukrainian. And I will say Андріївський узвіз, not спуск.

8. Law and political issues. What can I tell? It’s not good in here. Militia will stop you although you didn’t do anything against the law, just to get a bribe (greetings for my Italian friend). On the streets of Kiev there are a lot of demonstrations. Against political repression aimed at opposition parties, against current president, against injustice in general. And a lot of militia around trying to find a reason to start an intervention.

If after reading this text you feel offended and you want to shout right in my face that if I don’t like something I may go back home – wait. Think it over. And wait for the next post.